I Am All Out of Excuses!
What I am about to say is not for the faint of heart:
I am disgusted with myself.
I have been seriously sabotaging myself lately, more so than usual. What I have been doing is not even sabotage, but rather something darker and more sinister—I have been purposely binging. I gorge large amounts of unhealthy foods for no other reason than I WANT to; not because I am hungry, not because I am sad, not because of any legitimate reason.
It doesn’t matter that I go to the gym and workout like a bandit, if I eat more than my share of food for the entire week, in one sitting. It is shameful and it is disgusting.
Every night I tell myself, “this is the last time I do this,” and with this, I give myself permission to eat, eat and eat some more. It’s called the “last meal syndrome.”
I am sick and tired of wanting and trying to lose the same 21 lbs. It’s been FOUR months and I am ALMOST back to where I was when I first started. It’s been THREE years and I am no where near close to where I need and want to be!Sure my clothes are smaller because I am exercising but seriously, I am not making real progress.
I am out of excuses.
Here’s the bottom line, the ONLY way I can reach my goal(s) is to put in the work, that means following the healthy guidelines and not just shooting for once per month, but EVERY SINGLE DAY! That means no more night time binging, no more mindless eating, NO MORE EXCUSES.
Buddies, I don’t know about you, but I am tired of telling the same old story over and over again! I am tired of the ups and downs and ups again! As cliche as it sounds, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just want to move on with my life and I don’t want this weight to keep dragging me down. If I am going to be sad and depressed, I want it to be for more reasons than the size of my pants and the number on the scale! If I am going to be ashamed of myself, I don’t want it to be because I am fat but because I have done or said something shameful….in other words, I don’t want to feel bad about myself for something as superficial as my weight!
I am rolling up my sleeves and getting to work and I need to start seeing some real results!
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I can sympathize with you as I’ve been doing these same bad things to myself lately! I wish I had the answer for you because then I’d be able to help myself! Just know, we are here to support you and all you need to do is reach out if you are feeling week toward your urges. Feel free to email me. If I’m not online, I know someone will be available with some encouragement for you! Hang it there!
Print this out and put it on your fridge or pantry. Put it in your wallet for when you go get groceries. I’ve been there and worse, I used to binge AND purge to say it neatly and it takes will power to stop that. I so recognize that ‘last meal syndrome’. Take it one day at the time and give yourself a mental pat on the back for every day. You are better than the food you let yourself be controlled by. This blog is a great start to turn a new corner. I’m rooting for you girl!
You can do this girl! Good luck!
You can do it. You have woken up to what you are doing to yourself. Now do something about it. Take all of your suggestions from the end of your blog and put them into action!!
It seems a few of us are stuck in the same rut as you, me being one of them. Whats the old saying about the road to Heaven is paved with good intentions? Well each morning my diet strategy is paved with good intentions but then I seem to run out of blacktop. All we can do is keep trying.
I like what Karin said, print this out in large print and hang it where you can see it everyday. I know you can do this, Jo. We have all been where you are. I’m here for you!
I know it’s tough, I love to eat junk, walking through the grocery store was almost torture when I first started this cause there were so many things that I WANTED but COULDN’T have. I finally had to come to a point where I had to change the way I looked at it. I can have what ever I want, but I DON’T WANT the junk cause I want to lose the weight more. My house is full of reminders.
Another lesson I had to learn was just caused you messed up at lunch today, or grabbed that bag of chips while you are watching TV doesn’t mean the day is a loss. Once you realize what you are doing put the damn bag of chips away. You don’t have to write the day off as a loss and start again tomorrow. You can start again today, this minute.
I know you can do this, now you have got to convince yourself that you can do this.
Jo….I got tired of the ups and downs as well. It’s time to put all our goals into action! You are one tough COOKIE…I knew that from the first time I met you!
Now lets get to it!!