marathoner

This morning I skipped the gym because I had trouble sleeping last night.  I didn’t drift off to sleep until after 4 am this morning, saw the kid off to school at 8 o’clock and went back to bed until close to Noon.  I had every intention of going straight to the gym after picking up my DS, but I conveniently found things at home that were more pressing than my workout.  Wouldn’t you know that all of a sudden it became URGENT that I call my grandmother, my mom, my cousin and my friends?  Oh and I had to send off those e-mails!  Anyone see where this is going?

I was dragging my feet ALL DAY.

I finally made it to the gym at 8:30 pm, had a great workout and now I feel great!!  WHY oh WHY do we forget about the feeling great part?  It’s beyond me!

Like I said, I got it done and now I am happy as pie!  Can’t wait to go home (I am still at the gym) and place my sticker on my calendar!

Ok.  Speaking of stickers…is ANYONE up for a sticker challenge??

I know my girl Anj is and so far, she has earned all her stickers! 

Anyone else?

It doesn’t have to be for exercise, it can be for tracking your food or eating your fruit…WHATEVER, it’s your call.  I am so excited about the stickers that I want everyone to experience this euphoria!

Anj…are you beginning to see a theme here?  I get carried away with things that really get my attention—like the whole THINSPIRATION thing!! LOL!  :) 

Ok…so if anyone is up to the challenge, let me know–the more the merrier!!

Who knew that tiny little stickers from the dollar store would get me to peel myself off the computer chair and motivate me to go to the gym?  Who knew that I would be anxious about missing ONE workout because it would mean losing one sticker and not reaching my goal of 21 stickers for the month?  WHO KNEW?  Well, Anj did!

I have been scratching my head, trying to figure out WHY I have not been able to get back on track since I veered off during the Holidays.  I understand Dawnie…we want it, we know what we need to do to get it, and yet, something holds us back.  Obviously that something is ourselves, but why? 

Who knows?  The answer will probably come to me later OR not at all, right now I’m not caring very much because ALL I care about right now is getting my 21 stickers!  Thank you Anj.

This weekend I caught a cold/flu bug and decided to skip the gym yesterday.  This means that this week is going to be a long workout week—instead of 3 workouts in a row with a rest day in between the next set of three, I am going to exercise for 4 consecutive days before I take a rest day.  Buddies, I need you to pull forces with me and push my butt to make it through the week.  My hope is that this cold/flu bug doesn’t kick my butt to the point of knocking me out…so keep your fingers crossed as you remind me that I have to meet my goal for the week.  PLEASE!! 

Anj asked me why I couldn’t exercise while I have company—here’s the deal—usually when company is over we do the tour guide bit….we leave as early as possible and we stay up late.  I hardly get any sleep when we have company, so getting up earlier than my guests is not really an option for me.  HOWEVER, I have been thinking and thinking and thinking some more and I will do everything in my power to go for a short run while my guests are still sleeping.  I absolutely HAVE TO do it—if the scale isn’t moving any closer to my goal weight, I want to feel I accomplished something big this month….and I know that once I earn my 21 stickers, I will feel empowered.  I know it sounds silly, but Anj can attest to the power of the stickers….I know, I feel silly even writing it, but it’s true.  If anyone wants to give it a try…I highly recommend it!

Wishing everyone a great week!

Tanae—-welcome back! Let’s get this done once and for all, shall we?

I am baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!

The exercise bug has bit me…and so has the cold and flu bug, so hopefully, I can stay on my exercise wagon!  I had a good run today and I worked on the arms—it hurt so good.  While I was doing my girly push-ups, I kept thinking of our girl Nancy and how much ass she kicks when she does her push ups! One day Nancy, one day!

So I have earned my 5th sticker for the month…and now I am worried.  A couple of friends will be visiting later this month…and I am so afraid to skip my workout…not sure how I am going to make it up.  Hmmm….***scratching my head****

Anyway, just wanted to share with everyone that even though I am not where I need and want to be in terms of eating, I am so happy that at least my exercise seems to be getting back where it needs to be!!  Thanks again for the challenge Anj!! I feel like a little kid…I am so proud of my stickers! Who knew?  :) 

Today was a beautiful sunny day here in BC, a rarity in these parts of the world, I have come to find out.  The sun provides essential vitamins, so whenever it makes an appearance here, I try to take some rays in!  I called my buddy and asked her to join me on an adventure to the beach, to eat some ice cream—off we went!

The ice-cream turned out to be low-fat frozen yogurt with fruits—the only thing that killed it, was the waffle cone! 

Anyway, we headed to the beach and found an injured seagull.  So what did we do?  We rescued it and drove all over town looking for a place which specializes in treating wild life.  We finally found a place but it was closed, so my buddy kept the bird in her home overnight. 

Heroic?  HARDLY!

The heroic part is in the second part of my story.

In an effort to find someone who could treat this poor, injured bird, we drove all over town, we called two local SPCA shelters and before I knew it, it was late.  DS and I were STARVING and it occurred to me that I should stop to get some food.  I was thinking A&W and I was thinking THE WORKS!  BUT…..I told DH we should eat at home because eating out takes a HUGE chunk of our money and with only one of us employed, it’s best we refrain and save the restaurants for the times we have visitors.  I decided instead to drive straight home and heat up the spagetti and meatballs I had prepared for lunch.  Heroic?  No, not yet.

I was so tired from driving around and trying to figure out what to do, that once I got home, I put on my PJ’s, determined to go to bed after dinner.  I figured I would MAKE-UP my missed workout session by adding 20 minutes to the 60 minutes I do on my workout days.  I figured I would send an e-mail to my girl Anj explaining my intentions….but you see, this nagging voice inside me kept telling me that what I was doing was WRONG!  I tried to ignore it, I mean, I already had my PJs on! 

As I sat infront of the computer getting ready to send an e-mail to Anj, it occurred to me…tomorrow we are attending a Winter Event and it’s an all day event….I MAY have to miss a workout….I couldn’t POSSIBLY miss two workouts back to back, right?  Ok…so I sat here….pondering….I started to upload some pictures I took today when I ran accross my before pictures from the other day and BOY OH BOY—before I knew it, I was changing into my workout clothes and told my boys, I’ll be back by 11:30!! 

I worked my butt off at the gym and did my abs workout! I kicked butt—I felt like the hero in my own story!!

So today, instead of a little sticker, I EARNED a big sticker—why?

Because today, it took EVERYTHING in me to do the right thing!!

I feel so good that I got my workout in…and tomorrow I plan on cutting the Winter Event short, so I can do my workout.  PRIORITIES people, PRIORITIES!!

Anj—are you proud of me?  4 down, 17 more to go!!

Buddies, the ONE and most COMPELLING reason to STAY on the wagon, to be consistent in eating healthy and exercising regularly is one simple fact:  It’s so difficult to get back on that horse!  It can be done, but why should we put ourselves to through the disappointment, the heartache of having to “start over” again?  It makes no sense.  If we are CONSISTENT, we save ourselves from the emotional roller coaster that is weight-loss.

And there, that’s one more thing I’ve learned (the hard way) on this road.

Now let me share the story of the beautiful pink Ann Klein sweater which has been sitting in my closet for almost 3 years.  The reason it sat there lonely was because it didn’t fit.  I love this sweater so much, I didn’t have the heart to donate it when we moved.  I kept it in hopes that ONE DAY I could wear it again.  This past Christmas when my parents were visiting, I tried the pink sweater and to my surprise, it fit perfectly! 

Since my 11 lbs. weight-gain, the COMFORTING thing I have been telling myself is, “my clothes still fit.”  The reason why this is comforting to me is because even though I have gained 11 lbs., I am still wearing my size 14 jeans, the new stuff I bought over the Holidays because my 16s were simply too baggy on me.  So, back to the pink sweater—I decided to wear it yesterday!

Unlike my jeans, the sweater didn’t lie, it fit snuggly and not as perfectly as it did back in December.  Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I decided to just continue to put one foot infront of the other by eating healthier and exercising more, EVENTUALLY, I told myself, the weight will come off.  Here’s where it gets tricky…even though I told myself these things, deep, deep inside of me, in a dark place was the nagging little voice—HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?  Negativity slowly but surely started to seep in.

BUT ALAS, something wonderful happened.  As I was doing my hair in my panties and bra, I noticed something in the mirror….I noticed DIMPLES on my belly!! No, not cottage cheese dimples, but the OUTLINES of what appear to be shaply abs!  I shared with Anj this morning that the encasing of a six pack is starting to show.  I must have looked at myself in the mirror 100 times yesterday!!  As soon as hubby got home from work, I bared my abs and showed him—it wasn’t in my head—he saw it too!  In fact, he saw it TWICE, I just wanted to make sure that is wasn’t in his head either!

So what do you think happened to me yesterday?

Did I walk around crestfallen because I gained back 11 lbs?  Did I berate myself for letting this happen?  Did I drown my sorrows in a gallon of ice-cream?  (Ok, don’t answer the last one please—it wasn’t a gallon, but it was something alright)! 

No buddies, I walked with my head held high, with a pep in my step.  I ENJOYED my day off from exercise BUT I spent all day looking forward to today’s workout and ABS section.  I focused on the POSITIVE, sure it was easy because I can see the light at the end of the abs tunnel, but I could have CHOSEN to concentrate on my pink TOO SNUGGLY sweater! 

In conclusion, this is what I’ve learned from gaining back 11 lbs.

• Hold on to that horse with all your might, because getting back on is HARD, in other words, CONSISTENCY!!
• Choose to FOCUS on the POSITIVE.
• And of course my personal favorite:  NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

In my attempt to learn to TOLERATE veggies, I have decided to try new things.  Today I tried brussel sprouts and the veredict is in—I hate them! GROSS!

Good news:  I’ve completed the first 3 workout sessions of the week, today is my rest day and my next 3 sessions will be on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  Anj:  I have three stickers for the month of February, my goal is to collect 21 stickers this month!

Bad news:  I have officially gained back 11 lbs.

I have been on this roller coaster of weight-loss and weight issues since I was 11 years old.  In the three years I have been on this site, I have been in ONEDERLAND twice and both times I have said that I will never get back to 200 lbs.  BOTH times I have failed.  This morning I got on the scale and it read 205 lbs., I updated my ticker.  I wasn’t disappointed as much as I was mad, at myself mostly, for letting this happen. 

Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I decided right here and right now that I will not travel the road of weight-gain again!  I refuse to be the one to drive myself back up the scale.  I refuse to not take charge of the wheel.  The bottom line is that I have gained weight and that I am no longer in Onederland.  I have been trying for the past 3 years to lose 10% of my weight and I have not been successful.  I have postponed massages and facials, buying cute clothes, ALL because I am holding the carrot on the stick in hopes that these things will motivate me.  Well guess what?  They haven’t and in the meantime, I have deprived myself of things I not only need, but deserve.

I have mustered strength again, (from God only knows where) and have reset my goals.  We have 47 weeks to reach our yearly goals and for me, it means I MUST lose 1.6 lbs. per week to get where I need and want to be.  Against my better judgement, I have set April 9th as the date I reach my mini-goal of 189 lbs. and I will see to it that I accomplish this goal once and for all.  In the meantime, I will TAKE CARE OF MYSELF and LOVE myself regardless of what the scale says.  This means that I am not going to wait until the scale reaches 189 lbs. for me to have a much needed facial.  Yes, I understand rewards are important, but obviously these things are not enough to motivate me to do the best I can for myself.

Today is my rest day, so I must be even more diligent in tracking my food and staying within my caloric range!

For those who were wondering what it was going to take for me to wake-up and grab the wheel with both hands again, the answer is simple…I don’t have a choice.  If I am going to live a healthy life, an active life, I must like my friend Kristi says, “MAN UP” and do the damn thing!  I deserve better than this!  You do too!

Yes, I have self-diagnosed with Selective Amnesia!

Why?

Because I just had an A$$-kicking workout and I feel fabulous and yet, when my life is hectic and chaotic, the first thing to go is THE ONE THING that always makes life a little more bearable!! Exercise!

So Nancy-pooh, you wanted to hear about my workout…I did 60 hard minutes on the Arc Trainer (it’s like a ski-machine, but not really).  I was sweating like a little piggy and there were time when I wanted to quit, but didn’t!  I wrapped it up with some ab work!  So now I am headed home for a much deserved hot shower and a scrumptious lunch!

I am sorry I haven’t gotten to blogs, but I will today!

I have more to share with my buddies, but later….after I catch up with everyone!

Why am I so chipper today?  Because I am getting ready to go and do a killer 60 minutes of cardio and some ab work! I am very excited about working out, so much so that I am writing this blog from the Y.

Today started on the wrong foot.  I have been fighting with my 12 y.o. all morning long—he is just so irresponsible!  I know he is only 12, but he has no concept of responsibility and it drives me mad.  I think what bothers me more than anything, are the stupid little lies and ommissions, specially since I’ve taught him that the worse crime he can commit in my eyes is LYING!   I am so frustrated with him and if I could afford it, I would send him to military school.   He is a good boy, well-manered and loving so I am not dealing with a trouble maker, but when it comes to his school work and his house chores (which are minor, mind you), he just doesn’t get it!  Ok…this is my frustration talking, but I feel that I am reaching the end of my rope!  MUMS—any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated!

On another note, I want to make a clarification about yesterday’s blog!  It was brought to my attention that Nancy’s blogs stay at the top and honestly, I thought that this was because she reads and comments on most everyone’s blogs AND that people were showing her the same support that she gives back.  It never occurred to me that her settings were off, that being said, I was not referring to Nancy in my blog.  In fact, I wasn’t referring to any particular person.  I know this was bothering some of the old-timers and some of the newbies.  I also know that the last two people who left the site and threw temper tantrums on the site, left for the same reason, so my angle was one of keeping things fair and asking people that even though WE CAN, we shouldn’t manipulate the site.  I know we all love Nancy and I would be the last person to point the finger at her, so please know that I was not referring to her and that my plea was a GENERAL plea.  Capiche? 

Good!  I’m off to release my mother-child frustrations on the ski machine for the next 60 minutes!!

For those of you who read my morning blog, you know that I am on a mission this week to get back on the exercise horse.  I am happy to share that I completed my first 60 minutes!  I feel so much better–mentally, emotionally and physically. 

Mentally—I feel more alert.

Emotionally—the endorphins are doing their magic and I feel that I can do ANYTHING!

Physically—the hovering headache I’ve had for a week has calmed down a bit.

I know that it will take about a month, if not a little longer for me to feel just as good as I felt before I fell off the wagon back in November!  Yes, let’s be honest….all Hell broke lose after Thanksgiving!  Let this serve as a lesson to me and everyone on the site—YES, one day and one day only can be your undoing, so when we chose to indulge, we must do so with caution.  I am not saying that if you fall off the wagon one day you’re doomed, what I am saying is that you have to be mentally prepared to have that one day and let it be only ONE!  I have a feeling I am not making myself clear….somehow, it makes sense in my head! LOL!

On an unrelated subject—

Jenn wrote a blog about people who change the settings on their blogs so that their blogs can stay at the top.  I had noticed this awhile back and although it bothered me, it didn’t bother me enough to bring it up, HOWEVER, I did delete from my buddy list someone who was notorious for doing this.  Buddies, let’s be fair to one another.  If you read my blogs or not makes no difference to me, I have been on this site long enough to know that buddies come and go and that some days I need more support than others and that other days, I can give back more than my share of support and other times, well, it’s damn near impossible.  I know a lot of people have felt jaded and have lashed out on their blogs, coicidenlty these people have left the site.  I have brought up this issue to Dr. Marc and I will continue to make an issue of it until it stops.  The behavior is right out childish and immature.  If you are one of those buddies who is engaging in that behavior, please stop.  It is not necessary.  How often have we said that you get back what you put it?  Well then, stand by that knowledge and STOP manipulating the site, plain and simple.  It is right out unfair to everyone else!

Please don’t send me your hate comments because I am not trying to start any trouble. I am simply trying to maintain our site clean and clear of manipulation so we can get back to the  reason why we joined this site—for support. 

Ok, I’m off my soap box now!

Buddies, have a fantabulous day!